Changing Lanes

While I realize that the plan of attack that has prevailed in the past few months has been rightly geared to fitness and endurance, I am now entering a new phase of preparation. At some point last week, I decided that my physical strength is about as good as it can be and in fact, better than I have felt for such a long time. I am now focusing on the journey - both the geographical/historical process and more importantly the spiritual process that I am searching for as I embark on this adventure.
I have read a long list of books in the past few months, being at first curious about the travel challenges of this pilgrimage and then later learning about people's experience and personal outcomes (being the goal oriented person that I am). I started with Sue Kenney's two books and then Shirley MacLaine, later Paul Coelho and a hilarious book by Elizabeth Christmas who headed off for the Camino with a group of women which quickly became a real problem.
The most recent book is called 'The Way is Made by Walking' (Arthur Paul Boers) given to my by a new friend and caminoholic Tom. This book has gripped me in a new way and caused my focus to shift somewhat as I count down the remaining 8 days to my departure. There is a deeply religious and for me a spiritual journey unfolding in preparing for and contemplating this trip. The idea of a pilgrimage is such an ancient thought and in modern day - equates to something foreign and impossible to consider. It takes time for one thing, endurance and perseverance and is not easy however, that is part of the process. The pilgrimage - made through walking one step at a time - is transformative, simply due to the fact that life slows down the mind and one is compelled to focus on the ordinary simple things of living each day, noticing what transpires and being clearly in the moments as they occur (challenges and all)
Today I walked for 4 hours with my fully loaded pack and while it seemed not too arduous, I was exhausted by the end. The sun was hot and I did not take enough to eat with me, nor did I allow myself proper breaks ( I am always focused on getting to the goal you see). I learned a few things, one to make sure that I stop when I need to, second - to bring food with me that will provide energy and lastly to tie things on (I lost my new hat out of my pocket somewhere along the way and could not even consider going back to look for it!). More importantly, this pilgrimage is about the process and not the end, so savouring the steps along the way will make the difference for me in the long run.
I am 'on my way' already, as it occurred to me today that if something were to cause the cancellation of this trip, I would be devastated. Planning and preparing has provided such a great focus both materially as well as emotionally and I know that the next 8 days will fly by. My lists are complete and there are only a few things to put together now - learning more about my new lightwieght camera for one and remembering the details of all that has been in my mind over the past weeks.
I keep in my mind, something I told by husband Chris before he died and that was that I wanted to do interesting things and travel to different places when I was on my own and here I am - doing just that! M