Footsteps in the Dark

It is 6:20 am and we head off - 2 Danish women and me, one flashlight and one head lamp - into the woods and the dark of the early morning. We walk for at least one hour in pitch dark and I think to myself - who would have ever anticipated this adventure. However here we are and it is just a head start to the day to avoid the heat of the noon day sun and to get a bit ahead of the pack in the bathrooms. With only 26 people in the room last night, I slept much better and actually feel rested today. I plugged along as a better trooper today, after feeling like I was dragging all of yesterday.

It was a long way to the first cup of coffee however, at least 10 kms. We thought there would be a place for cafe con leche and some chocolate croissants at about the 5km mark - but not so as it is Sunday in a very catholic country.

When we did arrive at a beautiful little Spanish town, the cafe con leche and the tortilla - an egg like pie with lots of salad and ham in the mix was delicious. Sonce we had put in such a good walk already, it was only another hour to Pamplona and here I am showered and clothes washed and ready for a nap and it is only 2 pm.

I walked about 7 hours today and have covered close to 75 kms now. We passed a sign to Santiago early this morning that said a mere 751 kms to go - will ignore those ones for awhile. I am impressed with my fitness though, I have few aches and pains and only my feet get sore which may just be the constant pounding for hours at a time. I have taken the good advice of friends back home and stopped to sink my feet into a stream for awhile this am and it made a real difference.

I found myself singing along this morning and it made me happy. It was an interesting way to express what was rolling around in my head and as I went along, I made up the tunes from a combination of hymns and different melodies that I liked. I sang about thoughts and hopes and questions and actually got the junk of worry out of my head which was a good thing.

The country side is so beautiful and the sounds of church bells everywhere are something. The cows continue to signal their presence with the bells around their neck. Music is everywhere in the natural sounds and in the music that people make themselves by whistling and singing. When we arrived in the square for cafe this morning, a few of the French Canadians were singing acapala - the Sounds of Silence - From Simon and Garfunkle, with the church bells for morning mass ringing in the background. I tell you there is something about letting go of everything and just being with the moment and the beauty of the simplicity of it all.

I am in a refugio in Pamplona at the moment, wonderful place - cold showers and a very rule oriented hostess at the door. Only 5 euros though for all this cleanliness. There is a mass for the pilgrims in the cathedral tonight which I will rush over to as it makes a difference to feel that you have the blessings of the "almighty" travelling along with you.

Tomorrow is a harder day as there is a tough climb so I will rest well tonight and eat a good dinner and pack more food to take along. Am trying to figure out what to unload from my pack as the darn thing is just too heavy to carry as it is (and that is less than 10kg) Am giving away stuff like mad to lighten things up. I think the post office is a very busy place here.

More later - and don´t worry Wilf, I enjoy sharing my journey like this. It gives me pleasure to know that people are reading this, across the world actually, and that my lowly pilgrimage is something that I can share with others.

Until then

Bueno Camino.......... Maggee

Thank you God - I have crossed the Pyrenees

Left SJPdP with 2 other Canadians 2 days ago and we joined the slow but steady line of pilgrims heading up the road. There was an obvious variation in the levels of readiness for this trek and it became more so along the way. The way was steady and steep in places and at times levelled off just for long enough to tease you that it was going to be ok. At one point, 2 women behind me flagged a car down and then jumped in the back seat! While others carried hardly anything as they had chosen to send their bags off by van for a cheap 8 E. Not me I carried my ful pack and slugged my way to the top with rest periods and slow walking over the tough bits thinking that this was a bit of a test to see how well prepared I was. It was just fine and the views across the mountains made the whole trip worth it all.

Along the way, you could turn back and see the mist covering the lower meadows and with the sun rising higher, it became an ever changing vista of incredible beauty. The colors and the smell and the absolute quiet were worth every step of the way. People chatted along the path, shared lunch with each other, were concerned if someone looked more than a little fatigued and generally we became a small community heading off on this momentous journey. There were the fast and tough walkers who headed off and led the way through the places where it was not obvious where to go next and there were others who stopped every 5 minutes gasping for new energy to continue. I found that stopping at least every hour and making myself eat something made a huge difference and drinking loads of water was a life saver.

Now the real experience of this day was something else. Along the way there are sheep and at the top plenty of horses which are apparently wild and number about 5000. There are no fences and a lot of the sheep and some horses have the honour of wearing large bells so with the beauty, the background music is the stillness and the clanging of the bells on the animals. Simply other worldy.

When I thought I could go no longer, we reached a ridge and there was the Abbey at Roncesvalles lying in the valley below. The 4kms down were not easy, but the refuggio was wonderful - 100 beds and everyone exhausted from the effort of the day. Showers were good and across the street a wonderful pilgrims meal that we all ate together complete with wine. Sleeping in a room full of 100 other people was a new experience and while it was peaceful, just not the easiest thing to fall asleep into even though they played beautifu church music for us.

The highlight of the entire experience so far has been the service in the cathedral in Roncesvalles which is held every evening at 8 pm. The priests chanting was so moving and the organ a full booming sound. the priest invited all the pilgrims up to the alter at the end of the service to bless us and it was really hard not to burst in to sobs as I was so tired and so affected by the experience of standing in this church realizing that this was a service that had been conductd for centuries. As he read out the countries of where we all came from - it was incredible to see that people come from he entire world to do this trip - Asia, S America and all over Europe of course as well as Canada and the US.

By 5 am people were rustling to get up and get going. The lights were on by 6 and everyone out the door by 7 am - in the dark. We fully expected to walk along flat ground today. What a surprise and today was as tiring as yesterday. temp is about 30 - 34 C and clear skies so it is important to start early. The route is very well marked and if you turn the wrong way, there is sure to be a local shouting at you and pointing in the right direction. You would think they would get tired of all of this activity. In the summer they say that 400 people leave St Jean every day and it has slowed down this week so that we are about 200 each day.

There is a steady stream of people, sometimes it bunches up and we commiserate with each other about fatigue and sore feet and at other times I was completely alone. I walked throught beautiful Spanish towns today and in cathedral like forests where the wind blew a steady whislte which was also thankfully cooling. At times I wonderd to myself if I will ever be able to stop worrying about my sore feet and how far the next town is to just settle down into one step at a time. Sometimes it feels like just th slowing of my heart beat and that is all I can hear - at first I thought it was someone coming up behind my, but no only the sound of my onw self as I trudged along. I made a promise to stop at every beautiful spot and rest or just let it sink in so that the experience of this incredible journey would build in its meaning for me.

I am in Zubiri tonight in a refuggio with only 26 others in the room and mostly women which sure beats being surrounded by men as I was last night. We got here early ie at 130pm so had time to shower, wash clothes and then snooze. It is so hot that the clothes are dry within a few hours.

Well tomorrow we head for Pamplona where the bulls run in July. There are moments that I wonder what in hell possessed me to consider such a journey and other times when the entire substance of what gave me juice in my life dissappears from thought and I am left with just a few moments of incredible peace and wonder at how lucky I am to have a body strong enough to do this. I am blessed to have the support of so many out there who I know are following along with me and it is with this kind of spiritual power that I believe I will find my way when the going gets tough.

Until then I will struggle on with my very minimal Spanish skills and take good care of my feet so they can carry me to the end of the journey.

thanks for reading and for creating such a receptive space for me to fulfill this incredible journey of the heart and soul.

Beuo Maggee

Day One St Jean Pied de Port

After a pretty straight forward journey,although somewhat long and tiring, I am here at the start of a trip that I have been building up to for more than a year. Everything has worked out just fine so far. In spite of a hectic rush on the Paris metro to catch the train south, which I made within 2 minutes of departure, the travel was uneventful. The train ride through France was beautiful and the country side very pretty. The second train through the mouuntains and into St Jean Pied de Port was very beautiful and this little town is very historic and quaint. I only wish I could speak better French as people here do not speak much english.

I was surprised at the number of pilgrims that are everwhere. Once we got on to the second train, I felt like I had joined cult as there was a full load of back packing people, all heading for the start of this camino. People are very friendly and I spend the whole trip through the mountains talking to a nurse from Denmark.

I will start tomorrow and even though the pilgrim's office recommends staying at a place 8 kms up the mountain, I will plan to go all the way to Roncesvalles which is 25 kms across to Spain. I walked up the first few kms this morning and it seems much less intimidating than the rocky mountain hikes I did in July.

My thoughts are that this is a stunning place, the air smells wonderful and it is quiet and very peaceful, a very rural environment with loads of history and fabulous architecture. It is true that the walk itself is meant to be a journey and the challenge for me will be to be able to let go of my targets, stop worrying about the deadlines and just follow the path to experience the process along the way.

All for now..............Maggee

What am I carrying!

I have taken time to think about what I will carry that I really really need and I have looked for what I want to carry for my soul journey. I also carry the prayers of people who are important to me. I carry with me the good wishes of my family and friends, the concerns of people who worry that I am travelling on my own, the excitement of people who have done this, wish they could do this or are thinking of doing this themselves. I carry the excitement of my little grandson who looked at me in wonder when I said I would be going on a very long trip and walking for 30 days. I carry my own pain and the pain of others who too have suffered or anticipate the loss that I have experienced. I take with me an assortment of things - rose quartz from South Africa symbolizing universal love, small stones from Killarney Park where Chris and I loved to canoe, a piece of coral from Jamaica, a stone from my wonderful counsellor Patricia that aligns with my mission on this journey, a poem from my wonderful cousin in Cape Town - Meike and a quote from my coach Penny. I carry the concern of my Dad who worries that I will be forever lost in the wilds of Spain, the love of my Mom who is as excited as I about this journey - she mostly feeling glad to see me so happy once again. I carry with me a special treasure from Cathy and most of all I carry from Susan, some sand in a small glass vial from an artistic project that has been blessed by the Dali Lama himself.
How lucky I am to have the good fortune to carry both the grief and the love of people around me - knowing that the contemplation and the opportunity for reflection that I have along my way will be a gift to me and to them. I am blessed with the time for social isolation and for leaping into the unknown and the daunting. I am blessed with the wonder of daring to do something quite out of the ordinary for me and for what people might expect of me. I am really just blessed - to be able to do this at all - don't you think! M

"When one leaves certain social situations and moves into temporary loneliness and then finds jewels, everything changes" Joseph Campbell

Packed and ready to go!

Seems hard to believe that I can pack all that I will need into this back pack and even carry the thing for as long as I will have to over the coming weeks. I have had great tips for packing from friends and so have streamlined the contents down to the very basics. I have packed and re packed and carried it on long hikes a few times to get used to the weight which is about 18lb and also to figure out all of the options that this little baby provides - a whole new experience in travel for this old babe. Who would have thought that this would be my new look! - M

Into the woods

Changing Lanes

While I realize that the plan of attack that has prevailed in the past few months has been rightly geared to fitness and endurance, I am now entering a new phase of preparation. At some point last week, I decided that my physical strength is about as good as it can be and in fact, better than I have felt for such a long time. I am now focusing on the journey - both the geographical/historical process and more importantly the spiritual process that I am searching for as I embark on this adventure.
I have read a long list of books in the past few months, being at first curious about the travel challenges of this pilgrimage and then later learning about people's experience and personal outcomes (being the goal oriented person that I am). I started with Sue Kenney's two books and then Shirley MacLaine, later Paul Coelho and a hilarious book by Elizabeth Christmas who headed off for the Camino with a group of women which quickly became a real problem.
The most recent book is called 'The Way is Made by Walking' (Arthur Paul Boers) given to my by a new friend and caminoholic Tom. This book has gripped me in a new way and caused my focus to shift somewhat as I count down the remaining 8 days to my departure. There is a deeply religious and for me a spiritual journey unfolding in preparing for and contemplating this trip. The idea of a pilgrimage is such an ancient thought and in modern day - equates to something foreign and impossible to consider. It takes time for one thing, endurance and perseverance and is not easy however, that is part of the process. The pilgrimage - made through walking one step at a time - is transformative, simply due to the fact that life slows down the mind and one is compelled to focus on the ordinary simple things of living each day, noticing what transpires and being clearly in the moments as they occur (challenges and all)
Today I walked for 4 hours with my fully loaded pack and while it seemed not too arduous, I was exhausted by the end. The sun was hot and I did not take enough to eat with me, nor did I allow myself proper breaks ( I am always focused on getting to the goal you see). I learned a few things, one to make sure that I stop when I need to, second - to bring food with me that will provide energy and lastly to tie things on (I lost my new hat out of my pocket somewhere along the way and could not even consider going back to look for it!). More importantly, this pilgrimage is about the process and not the end, so savouring the steps along the way will make the difference for me in the long run.
I am 'on my way' already, as it occurred to me today that if something were to cause the cancellation of this trip, I would be devastated. Planning and preparing has provided such a great focus both materially as well as emotionally and I know that the next 8 days will fly by. My lists are complete and there are only a few things to put together now - learning more about my new lightwieght camera for one and remembering the details of all that has been in my mind over the past weeks.
I keep in my mind, something I told by husband Chris before he died and that was that I wanted to do interesting things and travel to different places when I was on my own and here I am - doing just that! M

Time Running Out

Lots of walking, added some running and love the new boots I purchased last week. Scary, getting squished feet so close to departure, however, problem corrected with better and bigger boots!. tested them out in a down pour and long hike on Saturday and aside from cramped toes, all is well.
Ready to go except for the wait now - 2 more weeks. I am thinking about all sorts of things these days. Taking off on a adventure like this is such a new experience for me. I am both excited by the prospect of such an unusual thing to do and as well, sort of conflicted by a fear of the unknown. Everyone tells me 'just do it' and the Camino will provide, so I believe them and trust in my instict which has served me well over my life.
Never been so organized about anything before, in fact, I could be ready to leave in 10 minutes if I had to. Have sorted out so many little issues that were a struggle for me - how much shampoo, what about laundry soap, which top, which pants, where do I find a whistle etc etc. All solved by my very methodical lists and adventures into the stores in the past months.
Now, I think about what it will be like to get on the road and board the plane and enter into that strange place of being a solo traveller - and not just to the destination as I have done so many times before. This is where the courage is required - trusting that I have made a good decision and the process will unfold as intended.
This is when I think about Tom (my son) who has taken off for Korea 3 time now and done well diving into the unknown - culture, language, territory and people - and has set a remarkable example for me - good for you Tom Tom to be such an inspiration for your Mom.
More later - M

And she waits!

What is it that makes me take on such tremendous and daunting challenges - who knows - but what would I have been without them. Here I am now close to 2 weeks from departing on this major adventure. On my own, travelling about as far away as I can imagine, to be mobile, on foot and unreachable - pretty much. Maybe just what I need - or people around me need maybe! - who knows! Time will tell!
My feet hurt already and my new boots sit here waiting to be broken in - how can feet change size just like that. Here I was thinking that I had it made, with my comfy boots, hiking my merry little walks. Little did I know that lengthening my hikes would lead me to such grief and pathetic hobbling after only one 23 km hike. So now I am on the serious quest for comfy footwear and pain free footsteps.
Have calculated that I have completed about, maybe 50kms per week, over the last few months and so the build up takes shape, preparing for the great Camino de Santiago, which will require at least 25 kms per day for about 30 - 32 days - yikes!
Did you know that the actual bones of one of the 12 apostles lies in a burial place in a cathedral in Santiago, Spain and that for thousands of years pilgrims have walked all across Europe to arrive at this sacred place. And in 2008, I will be one of them - who would have thought eh - not my Mom or my kids that's for sure!
Practice packing, creative shopping for ultra light weght clothing, narrowing my choices to one change for everything (and lots of soap), has not been easy let me tell you! I am however, more cognizant of the outcome of the last few years of pity shopping during Chris's (late husband) illness and death. I could clothe an army here and am determined to focus energy on less worldy endeavours = hence this pilgrimage. Actually it is a way to find myself once again and to find peace and joy from this altered life plan.
So the plan is to travel to Paris on August 26, find the train station (with my limited vocabulary) and after 2 trains and about 6 hours arrive in the foot of the French Pyrenees ready to start an 800 km pilrgimage to Santiago de Compostela. I will be walking in the fooststeps of literally thousands that have gone before and hopefully less travelling at the same time as me this year! Accommodation is provided in hostel like places along the way and of course communities of like minded travellers form as the journey unfolds. An entirely new experience for this 'traveller' and hence part of the personal challenge - can I really do this? Only took about a year to build up the courage to actually book the flight. But here goes - what have I got to lose anyway.

'One can access the heart and the mind through the feet' - (even if they hurt - hopefully??)

That's it for now! - Maggee! (my new handle which only my dear old Dad ever called me when I was little - seems appropriate to redesign myself a little for this new adventure, don't you think?)