Sunset at Finisterre

Sunset at Finisterre

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

And Now What?

That is the question that I started this quest with and the one that I have posed to my friends who have also completed this journey, over the past few days. I know that many pilgrims continue to return to the Camino to re capture the feeling of 'escape' from reality, of being closer to a profound sense of the energy of the universe and to be part of a community of human relatedness that transcends anything we have experienced in our ordinary lives.
I have returned to work and my normal life. I drive my car along roads that I have driven for years and today I noticed myself observing the rocky path along the side and wondering what it would be like to walk this way. I can walk normally now, my limp is gone as my ankle and feet are recovering from the effort of the 800 kms that seems like a memory and not such a great feat now as it was so soon over.
I look at my life and try to put into context the experience that I had in Spain within the reality of the life I live and it is a challenge to bring that great sense of peace into the daily rituals of the way we have created our hectic lives together. I have answered the question 'now what' for myself, I know in my heart that I have. I just wonder if I have the guts to pull it off, as I once again find myself in the quandry of questioning my capability for designing a truly creative and adventurous life. Perhaps that is all there is to it really - keep on leaping into the unknown and continue to believe in what I am searching for.
What is it they say over and over again - it is already there right in front of you -just take the time and the answer is there waiting to be noticed.
I feel like I am on the brink of something and am so thankful for having pole vaulted myself into the unknown to actually start this journey on the Camino. I find myself out in the early morning darkness with a flashlight these days as I am compelled still to walk and that this time of a new day awakening will provide me with what I am looking for.
If there is any advice that I can provide it is only this - to grab life with all your might as we have only one chance to live it powerfully and with no regrets.
Maggee

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Cathedral - Santiago

My Camino Sisters

I have been thinking throughout the long journey home in the past two days, about how much these past weeks have meant to me because of the good friendships that I was lucky enough to have along my way. Alvina quoted this to us early on in the trip and it is:
"Many people and events come into your life
This is because you have drawn them to you
What you choose to do with them
Is entirely up to you!"
I have missed the company, the laughter and the great conversations that we were so accustomed to in each of our days together. In our last evening together in Santiago, we decided to just camp out in our wonderful hotel room (the one with the bathroom, shower, toilet paper and soap!) We had a stash of wine, cheese, bread of course!, some meat and some treats that we had enjoyed so much along the way - white asparagus and olives - and then some chocolate. We had decided to spend some time simply sharing with each other what each had meant to our journey. This turned out to be a most emotional, but wonderfully authentic time for each of us to really get how we had been as a companion and friend during the days we walked together and for me it was a great insight as to how I occur for others - which is helping me to make a transition from the Camino back to my real life and to look at some choices that I want to make for my future.
I have been lucky to have found such great friends or that they found me or that we just happened through some other worldly karma to arrive at the right place at the appropriate time.
Kirsten was our Danish leader, finding the way each day, often going out in the evening to check for the yellow arrows so there would be no question when we started off in the dark the next morning. Of course she had her wonderful book that guided her in order to guide us and it was a constant joke to hear her say 'I have read it in my book' or 'my book says'. Kirsten is a fast walker and so we became very familiar with her back and for me I could tell her walking gait from hundreds of meters away if she was within sight. kirsten was also our story teller and to see her face light up as she told us stories was a wonderful experience because you could just feel the gift she has for this.
Barb was our socializer and with her wonderful expressive body language and her ability to engage everyone into conversation (whether she spoke the same language or not!) was a treat to watch. Her legs were the shortest, but she could really walk as fast as Kirsten and I do feel sorry for the group of morning walkers that she has waiting for her at home. Look out for the hills is all I can advise them. Barb provided me with such good advice and inspiration about my own life and career and has really been a model for how great and full life can be after retirement.
Alvina - what can I say about Alvina! Her wit, wisdom and joy of life was such a great source for us every day, starting with the first 'hola' and 'Buen Camino' each morning. She brought cheer to everyone, including us and if she was not making us laugh at something or other, she was providing us with insightful quotes to inspire the day. We will forever remember her for her encouragement and 'you can do it Sister Mary! story. Alvina is a former teacher, but never have I met such a passionate student of life, someone who is so interested in art and literature and is so intense about her interests. She is also a writer, and would spend many hours writing in her notebook or preparing letters and cards to her many good friends. Our schedule had to be arranged around picking up mail at various locations along the camino where she had requested that her friends send their letters - no kidding - at one town she picked up 6 letters!
Claire, we met in Leon, and then after bumping into her for a few days, she chose to travel with us for the last 7 days. Claire was a former grade 6 student of Alvina and so she became known along the way to others as 'the pupil'!. Claire had a wonderful sense of the moment and was the one who got me to just stop and stand still, often to look at something or to just listen to the silence. With Claire, I climbed O Cebreiro and I will never forget what a beautiful day that was, stopping just to take in the wonder of the views, the sounds and the feeling of all that lay around us. Claire and I walked slower than the rest and so often were at the back of the pack, distant from the others and taking our own breaks together.
For all 5 of us, there was something special about the bond that we shared and the commitment we had to being a group, while also being able to do our individual walk during the day. Often we walked alone in silence during the day and then met up for breaks, having decided each night how far we would walk the following day. At lunch we would discuss the favoured alberques in the town we were heading for and choose one. We followed a routine on arrival of choosing beds - some of us preferring upper and some preferring lower bunks, having a shower and then washing the clothes we had worn that day. After that, it was time for white wine and a snack, then writing in our journals and then later dinner, which was either a picnic or in a local restaurant, eating the menu del dia which was always good and cheap with plenty of red wine to go along with it.
It was an interesting experience for me to consider what made us such a good team as there were not others who stuck together like we did for the whole way. Even friends who came together often separated for a few days and casual acquaintances like ours did not seem to last more than 4 - 5 days or so. Each does the Camino in their own way. Ours was interesting as we each came fully prepared to be on our own, but so enjoyed what we created as a team, that we stayed with it to the very end.
This of course, made the process really fun and very meaningful for me and the others I believe. I can't imagine how it would have been to do it otherwise now that I reflect on the richness of it all. So I am thankful for my Camino Sisters, who really made my journey much more profound and special because of the access it gave me to such good friends as well as the access it gave me to myself and what I was looking for.
Again a quote from Alvina that I have mentioned before and it is
'Walk behind me, but I may not lead you
Walk in front of me, but I may not follow you
Walk beside me and be my friend'
It was my great fortune to have such great company and wonderful friendships along the way to Santiago.
Maggee

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Cathedral Experience - Santiago

And now here I am sitting in the cathedral. We have arrived early to get a good seat as we heard that it will be crowded and with standing room only. This is so important to us that we are here 90 minutes before the mass is to start. I am near the front in the centre facing the magnificent alter and as I look up, I can see the great high arch of the church that was built so long ago. The beautiful silver chalice that is the botefumeiro hangs suspended above the alter on thick ropes. This will be filled with incense and pulled up by 8 monks and swung as in olden times to wash the congregation with the pleasant fumes that will drown out the bad odours of travellers who had not been able to wash for all the days of their travelling.
As I look forward towards the elaborate alter that is gold plated and filled with carvings and statues, the magnificence is impressive as it rises to the ceiling. My eyes are drawn to the jewel crusted statue of the apostle that is the center of the alter area. There is an ornate stairway that takes you up behind him and you can see people hugging him from behind which is the tradition. This is a deeply sacred place and one of the most precious locations on earth with the remains of James encased and celebrated here. There are many people wandering around looking and greeting each other. Some pilgrims have come straight to the church and carry their back packs on their back so the authenticity of the journey is very present to those of us who have just arrived in Santiago.
The feeling is one of arrival and not completion for me somehow and rather like a beginning of something new in my life for me. I am touched by the warmth of friendship of so many people as we greet each other, some I cannot even share the same language with, but the warmth is deep anyways. These are people that we have shared meals with, walked together with, drank wine along the way or just shared our foot remedy solutions and sympathy when the going was tough for some.
I think to myself how can I possibly put into context what this has meant to me and what it means now to sit here in this place so far from home and my known life. The wonder of simply walking, following the yellow arrows for hundreds of kms and days on end, and the spiritual magnificence of being immersed in the energy of God and the universe, the silence of the starry nights and dawn dark mornings - the sounds of the distant church bells ringing in the hours in ancient villages and the simplicity of rural life, animals in the pastures, bells chiming their presence, vegetables ready to harvest and the glorious flowering geraniums hanging from pots everywhere - a riot of color wherever we went.
I am not Catholic, nor really religious, but I am deeply moved just to sit here and watch the ancient traditions and symbols and relics that surround me. There is something particularly poignant about the continuity of life as we see how the solidity of these thing survive over centuries.
Soon a small nun comes into the sanctuary and goes up to the microphone. She is here to teach the congregation the latin chants for the service so we all know how to sing them and so we practice for a good 15 minutes together.
At the appointed hour, the bells ring and a procession of about 50 priests come from the side and into the church and they process into the alter, seating themselves around the high table. It is very impressive. The service starts with a welcome and reading out the starting points of the pilgrims who have arrived yesterday and the countries that they are from and so we are touched to hear Canada read aloud at our turn. While the service is conducted in Spanish and latin, it is a wonderful and colorful celebration of love and life. It is filled with music from the great pipe organ and the beautiful soprano voice of the nun who sings the chants from the front of the church. The place is packed with pilgrims and some tourists, but it s mostly pilgrims who we see around us. There is a communion service, but before that the passing of the peace as we turn to greet each other and then people file slowly up for the communion. It is very moving and very emotional for some reason and many peope around us are crying by this point.
Near the end of the service , we see that they are getting ready to raise the botefumeiro and we are thrilled as they do not do this every day. It is our luck once again.
8 priests take the ropes which are carefully designed to raise this heavy chalice which has been lit withincense up into the air, not just straight up, but in a motion that is designed to have it swinging in a high arch above the people in such a fashion that we are all amazed at the magnificence of this ancient tradition and cannot do more than just stare in awe at the whole process. All suring this time, the organi mucsi is magnificent and the nun sings her heart out, so that the whole thing seems heavenly somehow. All we can do is to stare at this incredible spectacle with our arms around each other. It is truly a highlight of the whole journey. The chalice is swung for quite a few minutes so that people can really be drowned in the incense which wafts over us and to the very back of the church. Pilgrims of the past must have smelled very bad indeed.
When it is all over and the congregation is blessed, the priests file out and we too go slowly out of the church to find our friends.
I am left with a feeling of a new beginning, not really like a born again religious kind of thing - but more like the good fortune to have seen a light towards an interesting and personally meaningful future. I have found new friends in people and places I never expected to and I have found a place of peace for myself which is what I was searching for.
I cannot imagine leaving tomorrow and getting onto an airplane to come home to my life as it was when I left it. It will be different for me I know and I have much to think about as to what I have acquired and learned along the Way of St James.
I knew in my heart that this would be a very deep and soulful journey for me, however I had no idea what it would be like in reality and now I see that my future can be quite different that I had expected it to be.
There is some peace in knowing how much there is to access through the sources that I have seen along my journey and many opportunities for richness that I will continue to explore.
To those of you who have followed me along the journey for the past 5 weeks, I thank you for your encouragement and support and for those of you waiting for me at home, I look forward to seeing you soon.
With Love..................Maggee

Glory Glory Hallelujah!!

I have been wondering what will be the song in my heart when I see the city and the spires of the cathedral for the first time. And so it is the one above and I cannot even remember the words excatly, but it dos not matter. It just feel like such a glorious occassion. It is day 33 and I am determined not to let the fatique and my sore feet affect the thrill of coming into the place where we have been heading for all these long days through these many adventures and challenges.
We are up early once again and for the last time and of course the first 8 kms are all up hill and some of them very steep. We walk together as my head lamp has given out at last and so we need to share the light. We are 6 as we picked up Cathy along the way. She did not have enought light for the dark forest path that is the first few kms. We are later than sooner at the cafe stop and oh how good it is to taste that Cafe con leche and the croissant with cheese.
The following few hours are pleasant and not nearly as tough as expected and in fact the way into the city is the most pleasant city walk we have had yet. It is amazing to think that we are arriving at our destination, as for some time now, it has not really been about the destination, only the journey, but this now signals that an end is near. We are so touched to walk once again through old city streets and you can feel the ancitipation of those around us who have also travelled far to reach this special place. After about a 90 minute walk from the top of the last hill, we are coming into the narrow streets of the old city and site for the first time the spires of the cathedral and we all start to cry. It is so emotional to arrive at this place, mostly because it has really taken so much to get here, but also because it just seems like a very special part of the world.
We are soon at the pilgrims office to get our certificates and are given these with our names written in latin. We find a bed for the night in a very old pension which we find is really not suitable and are moved out pretty quick the following morning. However, it is a place to leave our packs as we want to get to the cathedral to explore everything there is to see.
It is a wonderful place,the cathedral, surrounded on 4 sides by interesting squares. We do not see the main square the first time we arrive at the cathedral and so walk around to get to it. It is huge and immense and the front of the cathedral is so amazing you just have to do the pilgrim thing and lie down on the cement in front and stare up at all of the carvings and statues that grace the building with the blue sky as a back drop. It was completed in about 1211 and took about 200 years to build this place, so it is pretty amazing. There are tourist groups all around and many looking at the pilgrims lying on the pavement like we are a bit crazy but at this point, I do not care what they think. There about 3 stories worth of steps to get to the entrance to the cathedral and so eventually we climb up and enter the church. It is beautiful and austere, not like the richness of Burgos, but more authetic somehow in its simplicity. We explore all around and get to the small stairway that leads up to the statue of the apostle which is at the center of the alter. This is almost a too simple experience after the long journey to get here and even going down the well worn steps to the lower level where you can look deep into the cavern at the silver carved casket that holds the remains of the body is not as thrilling as I expected. Perhaps it is because there are so many people who have arrived on a bus and we are not in the midst of the people we have walked with -don´t know, but the best is to come the following morning.
We have had some wine and a good hamburger - Spanish style and so are quite tired. Heading off for a rest and later a light dinner, we then find ourselves in a short walk in the late evening in the midst of the Santiago night life. There are many people to greet and say hello to. We see people that we have not met for days and so it is quite a special time of frindship and good wishes.
We are awake a lot of the night with the party making out of the windows and in the morning decide to move to a better place which we find immediately. Better and cleaner. We are like children, thrilled that there is toilet paper in the bathroom and we have our own bathroom with soap and shampoo and there are cean sheets and towels in the bed. Who could ask for more!
To be in Santiago with the journey at a near completion is almost depressing and we are, although tired, a little energized by our plan for the last day.
More to come.................Maggee